Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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