Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
