I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
