is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
