I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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