we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
