So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
