She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize