he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
