i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
