I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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