All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
