her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's blow job season.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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