I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
