my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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