So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
