I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
