That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
