you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
