I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
