Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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