man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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