Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
