Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
