Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
