I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
