so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
