I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
