She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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