Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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