I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
