Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
