May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
