I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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