PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
