pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
