Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
