its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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