so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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