ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
