it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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