we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
