he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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