I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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