We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
