end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize