every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
