my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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