The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize