Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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