Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
