thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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