uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
