i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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