so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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