I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
