Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
