drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
