tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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