I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
