I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
