I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
