she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
