uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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