And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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