JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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